If you haven’t heard of Kidz Bop Karen yet, meet her now.
This woman, who apparently stopped traffic to in the middle of Manhattan earlier this month to yell at a Lyft driver and his passenger after a near-accident, has been meme’d, doxxed and all-around shredded by the youths on social media. And rightly so. KBK’s tirade wasn’t just rude, it was high comedy. But while the TikTok teen re-enactments are very much deserved (and fairly entertaining), as an oft-exasperated mom of young kids myself, I have to give an assist to KBK here. Like, that is not the face of a well-rested woman.
And by all means, no, I have never, and of course, would never, stop traffic to stick my head into another person’s car window to call them a “bitch ass hoe” … unless… well, let’s say you’ve had a day. Not just any day, but A DAY. Maybe your toddler woke up and immediately had a tantrum because he put his underwear on inside out and you forgot to tell him it was inside out even though you weren’t even in the room when he put them on but still, apparently, it’s your job to be the all-knowing queen of right-sided underwear, and so you’ve failed miserably and your kid spent the majority of your day’s first waking hour crying and screaming at you. Not to mention, your other toddler, who refuses to stop nursing literally ALL NIGHT LONG despite being almost two, had you sleeping in 90-minute increments. Then maybe, maybe those toddlers teamed up to see who could get the absolute most peanut butter stuck to the goddamn ceiling and, oh my sweet savior, how is that much even possible?! Then not one, but both kids managed to shit through their diapers/inside out underwear and gOOD LoRD, MY DuDeS, ThE pOTTy IS LIteERALly RIghT TheRE!!!!
Now, imagine you have to get both of them into a car. You have to wrangle them to put on their pants, socks, shoes, maybe coats. You have to get them both out the door and strapped into the car seats. And now — roughly two excruciating hours later — you’ve finally done it and what’s that they want? The Kidz Bop version of “Old Town Road” on repeat? Oh my God, is this hell??? (It is!)
Then you’re driving when a Lyft driver, who may or may not know where he’s going, forgets to check his blindspot and that’s a wrap. Your lizard brain takes over: You pop your crazy head into another person’s car in the middle of New York City and you call a lady without any kids in the backseat a “bitch ass hoe” because, well, how dare she flaunt her childless freedom in front of you like that?! The next thing you know, you’re giving a quick shout out to Kidz Bop and cementing your place in the Karen Hall of Fame.
And perhaps the moniker “Karen” is well-deserved here. After all, I don’t know KBK. Maybe she’d been having an entirely normal, lowercase type of day. Maybe KBK just sucks. But maybe — maybe — she’s just a normal, cromulent parent, like me or you, and she just had a very unfortunate, incredibly rude, nearly certifiable few moments caught on film. For the sake of road safety, here’s hoping it was the latter.
P.S. KBK: If it is the latter, are you and your kids available for a playdate? You can ride the train to D.C. so you don’t have to worry about driving. Mama is real desperate for friends here. I promise I’m not a bitch ass hoe.